January 2011
38 posts
In grade school I had a sex-ed class that was taught by a teacher who did double duty as the librarian. She told us that AIDS was contracted from dirty library books. She said the only way to keep from getting AIDS was to make sure you never got a book dirty. (I think this was her passive aggressive way of getting even. We’d just gotten a complete set of ‘Tin Tin’ graphic...
Shoving a Broomstick Up You
An 8th grade science and a 7th grade science teacher gave incorrect information. The first one was relatively harmless: she was asked if a tampon could “pop your cherry,” and she assured the class that the hymen was very far up inside the hymen and would be unaffected by tampons because they’re not long enough to reach it. The 7th grade teacher had answered the question about...
Chicken Pox
In 6th grade I contracted chicken pox and missed sex ed. I remember asking a good friend of mine - Dan - what went on. He told me about vaginas and all that, but then he asked me if I knew what a vibrator was. I said, “No. What is that?” He wouldn’t tell me. I felt cheated that I missed out on what this vibrator was (even though I was a boy). My dad walked in the room and Dan...
The female orgasm
I don’t know if Mr. B wasn’t used to giving females orgasms, or if he was just trying to change the subject back to fractions, but when someone asked our 6th grade teacher when do women reach an orgasm, he responded that it was when the sperm met the egg.
I went to a catholic high school and we went to a chastity speaker. He first put the burden of sex on the man (as if women never want it) and that premarital sex and associated activities were like taking your beloved to the edge of the grand canyon and sex was dropping her off of it.
Seriously?
I went to a catholic high school and we went to a chastity speaker. He first put the burden of sex on the man (as if women never want it) and that premarital sex and associated activities were like taking your beloved to the edge of the grand canyon and sex was dropping her off of it.
Seriously?
My mother eloped with my father and after a week of marriage, my grandmother handed her a used tube of KY jelly and said, “Well, all I can tell you is - wiggle when he wiggles.”
She was serious.
My mother eloped with my father and after a week of marriage, my grandmother handed her a used tube of KY jelly and said, “Well, all I can tell you is - wiggle when he wiggles.”
She was serious.
ENMPVA
I went to a public school, which offered sex ed taught by the gym teacher in “Health” class. I remember him explaining all the entry points for infection on the human body. He was obviously very uncomfortable having to mention some of the orifices over and over, so, for the entire lesson, he mashed them all up into one word: “eyesnosemouthpenisvaginaanus.” (This became...
ENMPVA
I went to a public school, which offered sex ed taught by the gym teacher in “Health” class. I remember him explaining all the entry points for infection on the human body. He was obviously very uncomfortable having to mention some of the orifices over and over, so, for the entire lesson, he mashed them all up into one word: “eyesnosemouthpenisvaginaanus.” (This became...
Because nothing compares to...
Our health teacher, Mr. S, explained to us that girls should not masturbate because it would make them lose any desire/need for boys.
Because nothing compares to...
Our health teacher, Mr. S, explained to us that girls should not masturbate because it would make them lose any desire/need for boys.
Troubling Statistics
When I was in 8th grade (at a relatively progressive public school) my health teacher told me that if you were bisexual you were automatically twice as likely to have an STD.
face.palm.
Troubling Statistics
When I was in 8th grade (at a relatively progressive public school) my health teacher told me that if you were bisexual you were automatically twice as likely to have an STD.
face.palm.
Especially the STD Prevention Stuff
I was a sophomore in high school in 1994 and had come out as a lesbian to my classmates earlier that year. On the day we were supposed to discuss reproductive anatomy, pregnancy, safe sex and STD prevention in health class, just before class started, my teacher came up to me semi-privately and said, “Since this stuff doesn’t really apply to you, you can just go to the library for...
Especially the STD Prevention Stuff
I was a sophomore in high school in 1994 and had come out as a lesbian to my classmates earlier that year. On the day we were supposed to discuss reproductive anatomy, pregnancy, safe sex and STD prevention in health class, just before class started, my teacher came up to me semi-privately and said, “Since this stuff doesn’t really apply to you, you can just go to the library for...
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Shortest Lesson Ever
My health teacher said that he had to teach sex ed because it was mandatory. This was his lesson:
Keep it in your pants. You can’t get pregnant or a disease.
On the next test there was a fill in the blank question worded identical to that.
Shortest Lesson Ever
My health teacher said that he had to teach sex ed because it was mandatory. This was his lesson:
Keep it in your pants. You can’t get pregnant or a disease.
On the next test there was a fill in the blank question worded identical to that.
Germ Theory of Disease is for Chumps
In my Catholic middle school we learned that AIDS was caused by premarital sex and that marriage provided some sort of mystical protection from contracting it.
Germ Theory of Disease is for Chumps
In my Catholic middle school we learned that AIDS was caused by premarital sex and that marriage provided some sort of mystical protection from contracting it.
2 tags
Men can just take a shower
During one summer’s Church Camp, they decided to split the boys and girls up for their own version of “sex-ed”. The visiting pastor, which was male, decided to go for the guilt angle, by telling us girls, that after sex men can just take a shower and be rid of the evidence, while women can’t get rid of the “evidence” so easily.
2 tags
Men can just take a shower
During one summer’s Church Camp, they decided to split the boys and girls up for their own version of “sex-ed”. The visiting pastor, which was male, decided to go for the guilt angle, by telling us girls, that after sex men can just take a shower and be rid of the evidence, while women can’t get rid of the “evidence” so easily.
Huff & Puff
Our sex ed teacher was in her 70’s. Someone asked her what a blow job was, and she said it was when a man spread a woman’s vagina opened and blew into it in little puffs.
Huff & Puff
Our sex ed teacher was in her 70’s. Someone asked her what a blow job was, and she said it was when a man spread a woman’s vagina opened and blew into it in little puffs.
2 tags
There's power in the blood
When I was 15 my mom cornered me on a long car trip and reinforced how wrong it was to have premarital sex. She told me that sex was God’s way to create a lasting covenant between a man and woman, and that in the Old Testament covenants were always sealed with blood. Our conversation ended with her stating, “The first time there will be a little blood. That’s natural. ...
2 tags
There's power in the blood
When I was 15 my mom cornered me on a long car trip and reinforced how wrong it was to have premarital sex. She told me that sex was God’s way to create a lasting covenant between a man and woman, and that in the Old Testament covenants were always sealed with blood. Our conversation ended with her stating, “The first time there will be a little blood. That’s natural. ...
Co-ed!
It was the early 80s and the first year my high school attempted co-ed gym class. It was due to budget restrictions more than changing social mores.
All went as you might expect until the day when they separated us, boys from girls, to have the mandatory “health” lecture they’d been giving us since 6th grade.
Small school, we only had one projector and screen so the boy’s...
Co-ed!
It was the early 80s and the first year my high school attempted co-ed gym class. It was due to budget restrictions more than changing social mores.
All went as you might expect until the day when they separated us, boys from girls, to have the mandatory “health” lecture they’d been giving us since 6th grade.
Small school, we only had one projector and screen so the boy’s...
Babies
My mom dodged me for awhile as a kid when I asked her if she got pregnant by “kissing naked.” So she said, “No, I had you because I prayed to God for you. I pictured you!” For years I would toss and turn at night thinking that if I envisioned babies I would suddenly become pregnant.
Babies
My mom dodged me for awhile as a kid when I asked her if she got pregnant by “kissing naked.” So she said, “No, I had you because I prayed to God for you. I pictured you!” For years I would toss and turn at night thinking that if I envisioned babies I would suddenly become pregnant.
Intimacy can be quantified
My high school sex ed teacher (the class was called “Health” and also covered such weirdness as how to balance a checkbook, which is totally related to your health) made us cut out a list of sex acts like “kissing” “showering together” and “oral sex (male)” “oral sex (female)” and ORGANIZE THEM FROM LEAST INTIMATE TO MOST INTIMATE. Never...
Intimacy can be quantified
My high school sex ed teacher (the class was called “Health” and also covered such weirdness as how to balance a checkbook, which is totally related to your health) made us cut out a list of sex acts like “kissing” “showering together” and “oral sex (male)” “oral sex (female)” and ORGANIZE THEM FROM LEAST INTIMATE TO MOST INTIMATE. Never...
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2 tags
In my high school health class, my teacher told us that “women pee through the clitoris”.
2 tags
In my high school health class, my teacher told us that “women pee through the clitoris”.
When will my PE teacher stop ruining my mornings...
Our gym/sex ed teacher tore her demonstration condom-on-broom really badly, and told us to ”always file your nails before putting on a condom.” Every time I wake up with hang nails after sex I get really paranoid.
When will my PE teacher stop ruining my mornings...
Our gym/sex ed teacher tore her demonstration condom-on-broom really badly, and told us to ”always file your nails before putting on a condom.” Every time I wake up with hang nails after sex I get really paranoid.
December 2010
49 posts
prosthe-dick
My older brother and his friends had been calling me a dildo all week. Of course, whenever I asked what a dildo was, they said I was too young to know. Infuriating! So I submitted the question “What is a dildo” to the anonymous question box in Sex Ed.
The teacher, a very vocal virgin, was outraged at having received the question. She said a dildo was a fake penis and that’s all...
prosthe-dick
My older brother and his friends had been calling me a dildo all week. Of course, whenever I asked what a dildo was, they said I was too young to know. Infuriating! So I submitted the question “What is a dildo” to the anonymous question box in Sex Ed.
The teacher, a very vocal virgin, was outraged at having received the question. She said a dildo was a fake penis and that’s all...
Why did I pay for this?
My sex ed teacher was Cosmo magazine. I remember reading in it once that men likes having their balls ‘gently bitten’. That didn’t work out so well … I guess Cosmo should have really emphasized the ‘gently’ part.
Why did I pay for this?
My sex ed teacher was Cosmo magazine. I remember reading in it once that men likes having their balls ‘gently bitten’. That didn’t work out so well … I guess Cosmo should have really emphasized the ‘gently’ part.
Why My High School Pregnancy Rate Was so High
On the first day of class, Mr. Brown told us all we needed to know about sex and birth control.
“Use the pull out method. It worked every single time for me and my wife, except for our two kids.”
For the rest of the semester, Mr. Brown read a newspaper at his desk.
Why My High School Pregnancy Rate Was so High
On the first day of class, Mr. Brown told us all we needed to know about sex and birth control.
“Use the pull out method. It worked every single time for me and my wife, except for our two kids.”
For the rest of the semester, Mr. Brown read a newspaper at his desk.
My mother, when I was twelve. I’m female, and wasn’t even remotely sexually active until a fair while later.
“Never just rely on condoms, always use the pill as well, because condoms break. And you know how I know condoms break? Because if condoms didn’t break, you wouldn’t be here.”
It’s true too. :P
My mother, when I was twelve. I’m female, and wasn’t even remotely sexually active until a fair while later.
“Never just rely on condoms, always use the pill as well, because condoms break. And you know how I know condoms break? Because if condoms didn’t break, you wouldn’t be here.”
It’s true too. :P
Women do not enjoy sex.
I cannot recall the exact phrasing, but the only thing I remember from the sex ed class (taught, ironically, by a woman) was her telling us that the whole baby-makng process - from sex to childbirth - was not enjoyable. This was, presumably, to reduce the risk of teem pregnancy among listeners.
I failed this class, of course, and took it again with a very reasonable instructor who, instead of...
Women do not enjoy sex.
I cannot recall the exact phrasing, but the only thing I remember from the sex ed class (taught, ironically, by a woman) was her telling us that the whole baby-makng process - from sex to childbirth - was not enjoyable. This was, presumably, to reduce the risk of teem pregnancy among listeners.
I failed this class, of course, and took it again with a very reasonable instructor who, instead of...
what what?
Our 8th grade health teacher (who had to be in her sixties at least) was set to retire, but not before one more round of sex ed classes since she told us it was her favorite part of the job. Among the things she shared with us was the fact that she loved anal sex, and that her husband’s penis was so long that she insisted that she could feel the tip hitting “the very back of (her)...
what what?
Our 8th grade health teacher (who had to be in her sixties at least) was set to retire, but not before one more round of sex ed classes since she told us it was her favorite part of the job. Among the things she shared with us was the fact that she loved anal sex, and that her husband’s penis was so long that she insisted that she could feel the tip hitting “the very back of (her)...